Why is it so hard for people to be real? Honesty is a rare commodity these days. With all of the high-pitched, chatty banter and smiles, what is really REAL? It's time to start holding people accountable. Especially when someone says they will do something and then they don't... What happened to "my word is my bond" or "a (wo)man is only as good as their word". This doesn't seem to exist in the current culture. People say one thing and do another, sometimes even the complete opposite of what they said they were going to do. That gets extremely frustrating after a while, and it gets old real quick.
All of the times that people don't respond to texts or call back, all the times people say "let's hangout!" with zero follow through. If you are the reliable one, then you know what I am talking about. If you are a person who takes no accountability for your actions or lack thereof, then you may be feeling a bit offended or attacked right now. GOOD! Hopefully you feel called out, because it means you have WORK TO DO!!!
These behaviors are not ingrained, you can change and be a better friend, family member or loved one to those who care for you and really need you to show all the way up in their life. These half-assed attempts at friendships, which are really just surface level associates if you think about it, should truly become a thing of the past. Not every one is your BFF, of course. There are levels of accountability. However, you should be sure to prioritize your life around yourself, your needs and the needs of your loved ones. Where would you be right now, without those who care for you? Have you shown the same amount of care and affection for them?
Relationships require nurturing, and there isn't a point at which you can stop feeding it, because that is when it will surely perish. To keep relationships alive and healthy, you need to do regular check-ins: "Hey, I was thinking of you! How are you feeling?" It is really that simple. I have heard the entire gamut of excuses as to why I didn't receive a response or why plans were flaked on. This wouldn't be such a problem, if it wasn't everyone! Imagine every employee calling out of work for the same reason, you would definitely call BS, so why not do that with your friends?
It's time to be #realvibes and start calling people out on their BS, give them an opportunity for improvement, and if no steps towards change are happening, cut the dead weight. Simple. Life is too short, and right now we are in some terrible times, and we only need to be surrounded by good, quality, upstanding human beings. If your circle is shabby, drop it and build a new, better, stronger circle. It may take time and effort, but it will be worth it in the long run!
It is understandable that sometimes plans need to be cancelled, and you may be too busy to respond to every text right away, but it is important to know who needs you the most and to value those connections, because they may not always be there. Taking things for granted never leads to anything good. If people start to be more honest with one another, instead of always brushing it off, saying "oh, it's okay, I understand." After the fourth or fifth "it's okay..." suddenly, it's not okay anymore.
Now it has become a habit, and it can become a feeling of disregard, being taken for granted, or walked all over. Especially if you are the type of person who is always there for others, listening, giving advice and being empathetic, you deserve that same energy in return. And if the people you are surrounded by are not providing that, then BE REAL and call them out on it. Give them an opportunity to remedy the situation, and if there is no significant change, then you know what to do.
I hope this helps you in one way on another. Ask yourself how REAL have you been lately? It doesn't mean be cruel to others, but it does mean SPEAK YOUR TRUTH!
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